Part 2 – Marriage, Not Two but One

Genesis 5:1-2 reads, “This is the book of the generations of Adam. In the day that God created man, in the likeness of God made he him; Male and female created he them; and blessed them, and CALLED THEIR NAME ADAM, in the day when they were created.” Thus the Bible teaches us that Adam consisted of both of them. Therefore a married couple are not two who are together, but halves of one. We tend to think of our spouse as our partner but marriage should not be a partnership. It should be much closer and hides a deeper truth about our relationship not only with each other, but also with God.

The Bible teaches us this very plainly. “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.”  (Gen 2:24-25)

“So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.” (Eph 5:28-31). I have underlined the two parts because I want the reader to note it. We will be looking at this closer, later in the study.

Christ taught this speaking of it very clearly so that no one could misunderstand his words. “And Jesus answered and said unto them, For the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept. But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.” (Mar 10:6-9) The word cleave here means literally to be glued together. No longer two but one. In Matthew Christ emphasizes that they are not two. “Jesus answered, "Haven't you read the scripture that says that in the beginning the Creator made people male and female? And God said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and unite with his wife, and the two will become one.' So they are no longer two, but one. No human being must separate, then, what God has joined together." (Mat 19:4-6 GNB)

Understanding this, we need to relook at how God brought this about for mankind.  Eve was not born of women nor was she formed of the ground like Adam. She was taken from Adams very own body. Her origins testify that she was part of Adam and thus they were one, not two. “Then the LORD God made the man fall into a deep sleep, and while he was sleeping, he took out one of the man's ribs and closed up the flesh. He formed a woman out of the rib and brought her to him. Then the man said, "At last, here is one of my own kind--- Bone taken from my bone, and flesh from my flesh. 'Woman' is her name because she was taken out of man." That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united with his wife, and they become one. The man and the woman were both naked, but they were not embarrassed. (Gen 2:21-25 GNB)

The problem is that today we do not truly believe this. We marry and as Christians we say we are one with our spouse but most see this as a metaphor of closeness with vows of faithfulness to each other. They do not really believe that in marriage by God, they truly cease to be two but are actually one whole being. Thus the truth and blessing of marriage is largely lost. They believe that they are one in spirit but not in flesh. We will come back to this in a few moments but first we need to relook at what this forming of our first parents was patterned after.

In John chapter one we see that in the beginning before anything was created that Jesus the word was with God. The word was God. Proverbs chapter eight tells us that before anything was created, Jesus was brought forth from God as the eternal Son of God. “But to us there is but one God, the Father, of whom are all things, and we in him; and one Lord Jesus Christ, by whom are all things, and we by him.” (1Co 8:6) All things where created of God the Father and by the Son who was begotten and came forth from the Father. When God said let us make man in our image, it was much more than just His shape and a character. When God brought forth Eve from the very flesh of Adam, She was a living human being who was part of Adam and thus Adam. This was patterned after the heavenly example. When Christ was brought forth from the very substance of the Father (God), Christ was a part of God and thus God. These are not metaphors, but literal physical truths.

In this we begin to see that they are more than just one in purpose and authority. They are one as Adam and Eve were one, in very substance and image. In this relationship, just as Christ is subject to the Father in all things, Eve was also subject to Adam in all things. Now let’s get back to the subject of marriage and this union into one creature.

Paul and the New Testament writers in general teach of another unique marriage that it tied to the sabbath. Most know that when man sinned that the Father gave His Son to humanity. In fact, Christ became the second Adam, so that all of humanity, as seen in Christ’s church, might become His wife. We were to become one with God, by marriage into Christ. Let’s explore this further in the scriptures.

  “For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.” (Eph 5:31-32) This verse as read in the GNB puts it even more straight forward. “As the scripture says, "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and unite with his wife, and the two will become one." There is a deep secret truth revealed in this scripture, which I understand as applying to Christ and the church. But it also applies to you: every husband must love his wife as himself, and every wife must respect her husband.” (Eph 5:31-33)

This mutual love and respect come from the truth that they are one, not two, and together in a home, form Christ’s bride. Just as different parts of the body have different functions that sustain, protect, and nourish the body as a whole and work in unison for its health and happiness, thus is the truth of a man and wife, and as a single creature, the bride of Christ.

If a married couple see’s marriage as a partnership, they will look for things in the spouse to help make each other happy but each will exist as a whole complete creature within themselves. There will still be a self-identity that is separated from their husband or wife. A husband will not actually see the things that are happening to his wife as actually happening to his own body.  It does not matter how much they say and feel that they love each other, as long as they are two, they are not married as God intended. But if married together in Christ, as Christ is one in the Father, then all this begins to change. The truth is that we as husband and wife are to understand and believe, that we are one body physically, emotionally, as well as spiritually. Thus I am part of my wife’s body and she mine.

Paul explains the extent to which this goes and we will look at it shortly. What is interesting is that in the human body, we have two lobes of the brain. They are separated like two bodies yet it is only one brain. Why, because they are connected by what is called the corpus callosum (from Latin: "tough body"). It is a wide, flat bundle of neural fibers that connects the left and right cerebral hemispheres or lobes of the brain and it facilitates communication between the two lobes. The two different lobes of the brain, move and control different parts and organs of the body. They work in perfect union because this connection lets them be one brain, and not two with different ideas and plans.

It is the same in a true marriage. Paul tells us how this should work. “The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. (1Co 7:4) When this oneness exists, a husband will actually see and feel the things that are happening to his wife as actually happening to his own body and visa versa. There is no longer an “I” in the equation of marriage, any more than one half of the brain refers to itself as “I” separate from the other half. So how can this be? What is the spiritual corpus collosum that make the two, one!

When a couple get married and then go on their honeymoon, it should be an acknowledgement of this truth. In their joining together, God makes subtle changes unseen by man, and his blessing begins to flow from one to the other. His nature should begin to flow in both halves of the whole. When genesis says that they were naked and yet not ashamed, it means more than without clothing. They began to experience the flow of life from God through each other as the body became whole as one, with Christ working as the corpus collosum. It is their union in Christ, which ties them together and makes them one being. This oneness is therefore not just between the two alone. In Christ, they as a single body also became as one in the same intimate way with God. Thus we need to examine the aspects of this intimacy. In the institution of marriage, mankind was meant to be intimate in all aspects of their existence.  This included spiritual, emotional, and physical intimacy.

Today, this is almost completely lost. When a couple gets married, they consummate their marriage by the act of love making and are thus physically joined. But are they really? In reality, usually something is missing. Either the emotional bond is grounded and firmly rooted in self (what can this relationship give to my emotional wellbeing) or the spiritual aspect is missing (One or both are not ready to marry Christ).  Being spiritually married in Christ is much more than just both having the same beliefs on religion or maintaining independent levels of relationship with God.

 Thus they begin their marriage as two and not one. It is no wonder that more than half end in divorce and failure.  Marriage must first be understood and fully accepted by both as losing their identity in Christ. Both must be willing to let go of their individuality of both their own lives, and their joined lives, and become a new single creature whose sees its total identity as one in Christ.  Spiritually, the couple must accept that they are also, as one, marrying Christ. He becomes part of all that is intimate between them. Only when His sanctifying presence, and intimate inward abiding , literally exists within the couple as a single creature, does a true oneness in a marriage really occur. When this happens, Christ becomes the spiritual scalpel that pulls Eve from Adams side and the spiritual glue that makes them literally as two bodies cleave together and become only one flesh.

When this happens, an amazing miracle happens on multiple levels. The emotions change. There is no more “I” in the sense of individuality. Our emotions will always be looking and longing for the health, happiness, and closeness of the other halve and the body as a whole. This is not shallow like a momentary infatuation but total surrender to each other on a much much deeper level. This is loving each other in a way deeper than human alone can acheive, it is as Christ our husband loves us. Our very identity together will be as one who is married to Christ. Only when this occurs can we then become one physically. We will explore this.  

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